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Here’s the funny thing about Tinder: Whilst there are thousands of potential matches living in your vicinity, actually getting them to reply can be really tricky.
Why?
It’s basic supply and demand stuff.
If you’re a guy looking to start a conversation with a girl, the girl already has hundreds of matches wanting to talk to her too. To stand out, your first Tinder message needs to be good.
And if it isn’t, you’ve gotta hope your bio and pics are strong enough to pull you through.
The reality, though, is that girls tend to ignore matches altogether if their icebreaker game is weak.
I get it. It’s a tough hurdle. What do you say that will guarantee a response?
The good news is that I’ve been using Tinder for over 5 years now. Not just that, but I’ve dug deep into the data, ran experiments and I know what works and what doesn’t work.
In this guide, I want to share with you a whole bunch of examples that work. I’ll explain why they work and what you need to do next.
Ready? Let’s make a start.
Tinder First Message #1: Photo Compliment and Question
Here’s the thing with this one: Girls (and guys) don’t tend to like it when you simply complement their photo. If you just say “wow, you’re cute!” it won’t net you a reply.
In fact, most times the girl will just think you’re a bit of a creep and no-hoper who probably just wants to get in her pants.
BUT …
If you compliment their photo and back it up with a question, you’re onto a winner.
Here are some first message examples:
“Damn your outfits are straight fire. You got a fashion guru living in your house or something?”
“Love your dogs! What are their names?”
“Where was that photo taken? I recognize that place! It looks lovely.”
“Your hair is literally the bomb in that pic. Mind if I ask what conditioner you use?”
“Haha, you look like you’re having so much fun in that pic. Am I to assume you’re always a bundle of laughs?”
Tinder First Message #2: Casual Hello and Question
The best time to use the casual hello and question as an opener is when your match hasn’t written too much in her bio and you’re not sure what else to say. And because you’re saying more than just “hey,” you’re increasing the chances that she’ll actually reply.
Here are first message examples:
“Hey, are you having a good day?”
“Hi, thanks for matching! You up to much this weekend?”
“Yo, how’s it going?”
“TGIF! Looking forward to the weekend?”
“Hello! Okay, so we managed to get the matching bit outta the way. Fancy chatting?”
Tinder First Message #3: Being Funny
If you were to ask me what type of Tinder openers I prefer, it’s ALWAYS the funny opener.
But there’s a disclaimer …
You must only use them if you’re a naturally funny, witty person who’s always got a few one-liners to hand.
Why?
Because if you’re not a funny person but you open with something funny anyway (or, at least, something you think is funny), you’ll find it impossible to keep the conversation going in a humorous direction.
Instead, it will fall flat very quickly and you may end up saying more stuff that isn’t funny at all.
And if they’re having a bad day and you come along with a super funny opening Tinder message, there’s every chance they’ll reply.
Here are some first message examples:
“Hey, here I am! What other two wishes did you ask?”
“Damn this is the only time I’ve ever wished I was cross-eyed! Cause I wanna see you twice.”
“Do you believe in love at first sight – or should we match a second time?”
“Did you come straight out of the oven onto Tinder? I only ask because you’re so hot.”
“Damn you’re everything I’ve been searching for. I don’t even need to use Google anymore!”
Tinder First Message #4: Being Flirty
What is Tinder for if not for flirting?
“Exactly! So shouldn’t I always use a flirty opener?”
The thing with Tinder is that it’s easy to assume you should dive straight into a bit of flirting with your match.
But it doesn’t always work like that.
While flirting is fun, and while I definitely recommend that you try it, it won’t always work.
Why?
Because it really depends on two things:
- How good you are at flirting
- How receptive the other person will be to your instant flirting
See, there are different types of people on Tinder and you can usually tell how receptive an individual will be to your flirting just by checking their profile. Is it sexually charged? In other words, do they have suggestive photos of themselves in revealing skirts and dresses? Is their bio fun and flirty? Have they added emojis?
If so, you can definitely try flirting with that person.
On the other hand, if your match has put a bit more effort into their bio and says they’re looking for something serious, it might not work to flirt straight away.
Basically, to use a well-worn phrase, you’ve just gotta “read the room.”
Here are some first message examples:
“Reckon we’re a match made in heaven?”
“Hey cutie, describe your dream kiss in 3 emojis.”
“Your last 3 matches (including me) – who would you fuck, marry or avoid?”
“Wow. Your dog is so cute! Is he/she jealous of newcomers?”
“Swiped right for your first pic. But are you adventurous?”
Tinder First Message #5: Questions About Their Profile Info
Naturally, the possibility of using this one lies squarely on whether or not your match even has anything in their profile except one or two pics.
If they’ve got some information that you can work with, such as a list of interests, an interesting fact, or even a really cool and unique picture, I definitely recommend experimenting with it.
Why?
Because asking your match a question about their profile info shows that you’re taking an interest in them. Instead of pasting some generic question you’ve already asked to hundreds of other girls, you’ve taken the time to look at their profile and come up with something unique.
And honestly – girls love that sort of thing.
Of course, there is a problem, and it’s this: It’s very easy to ask the exact same question someone else has already asked many times before.
For example, let’s say a girl has uploaded a pic of them cuddling their dog. As a result, they’ve received multiple questions along the lines of, “awww, your dog is so cute! What’s he/she called?”
To stand out, then, you have to be a bit more creative and ask something a little bit left field.
Here are some first message examples:
“Damn, I’ve never heard of that type of job before! It means you’re a spy, right? I’m calling it.”
“Oh wow, I’ve heard a lot of good things about that school you went to. But does this mean you’re probably insanely smarter than me?!”
“Oh cool, we live in the same area! Have you lived here all your life?”
“We travel to the same places! Which is your favorite country so far that you’ve visited?”
“Ah, a gin lover, a girl after my own heart. I’ll tell you my favorite type of gin if you tell me yours?!”
Tinder First Message #6: Dog/Cat Pick-up Lines
Let’s be honest – most people are suckers for cats and dogs.
And girls on Tinder will literally melt if you can nail a good dog/cat pickup line.
Why do dog/cat pickups line work so well?
For one thing, you’re relating to a common interest (by the way, you must only use this type of opener if your match has dogs or cats in their profile. If they don’t, you’re probably going to look a little weird).
For another, you’re hitting them with something different.
Where most guys will start off with a cheesy Tinder pickup lines that everyone has heard before, you’re going to be a little bit smoother.
And the thing with dog/cat pickup lines is that there’s so much you can do with them. I’m going to list 5 here but you should totally experiment with your own and see what you can come up with.
The main things to remember are that it’s okay to be a little cheesy, but you must never ever say something offensive.
Here are some first message examples:
“Damn, you and your cat are just purrrrrfect.”
“I matched with you and instantly felt a connection. Are you feline it too?”
“I never used to like dogs that much but since matching with you I wanna go to the bark side.”
“OMG what an adorable profile, I wanna pet both of you! But I’m okay with just petting your dog.”
“I think we’ve got real pet-tential here, what do you think?”
Tinder First Message #7: Ask Them These Questions
The thing with Tinder is that, aside from all the singles who are using it for a bit of fun or even just to pass the time, there are LOTS of people who take it seriously.
And it’s these people who would welcome an opener in the form of a question from you.
For example, check this one out:
“What’s the best advice anyone has ever given you?”
I personally love this, and I’ve used it many times myself. It works because it gets people thinking. It’s guaranteed to draw an interesting answer from which the two of you can build a proper conversation.
“What excites you most about the future?”
Now, some people would say that these types of questions are too deep to ask straight off the bat. But that’s okay – these questions aren’t for them.
On the flip side, I know many serious daters who use Tinder and who yearn for these types of questions. As well as drawing out interesting answers and getting a conversation rolling, these also help the two of you to filter out unsuitable matches.
For example, let’s say you ask this question:
“What’s a dealbreaker for you in a relationship?”
And let’s say that their answer doesn’t match your values. As such, you know that this person isn’t for you. It saves you a heck of a lot of time getting to know them.
Here are two more examples:
“Are you good in the kitchen? If so, what’s your go-to meal?”
“If you won a million dollars, how would you spend it?”
Tinder First Message #8: The Typo Jokes
If you’re looking to break the ice with a bit of humor on Tinder, I definitely recommend you try a few typo jokes. They make for great Tinder icebreakers.
What is a typo joke?
A typo joke looks like this:
“If I had a nickel for every typo I made on Tinder … I’d probably have more than 5 sense.”
Why does this type of joke work?
Well, simply because it’s cheesy and funny!
And as we all know, girls LOVE a guy who can make her laugh.
Here’s another example of a typo joke:
“Damn, why do I always make so many typos on Tinder? Because I’m Russian.”
Another reason the typo joke works really well on Tinder is because it’s inoffensive. It also reminds girls of dad jokes, and here’s the thing: While girls might not admit it, they secretly can’t get enough dad jokes.
Typo jokes are also non-suggestive, they’re not rude and they don’t come across too strong too early.
Moreover, they suggest that you’ve got a really fun personality and they say to the girl, “this would probably be really fun to chat to!”
Here are 3 more examples:
“I never understand how people can make typos in their Tinder bio! Don’t they proofread first?”
“Hey, pleased to sleet you! I promise not every message will contain a typo.”
“I make so many typos that I sometimes wonder if I should still be using Tinder. But you seem like such a cool person that I had to message you! I just hope I haven’t ruined my first text.”
Tinder First Message #9: The Vegan Card
One of the biggest dating app trends in recent times is saying that you’re a vegan in your profile.
In fact, I’d say that along with “Netflix” and “gym,”, “vegan” is one of the most common interests listed in someone’s bio.
There is, of course, nothing wrong with listing that we’re a vegan in our profile. And if it helps us match with someone who shares our values, so much the better.
But then what about opening with a message that refers to someone’s veganism? Should you do it or not?
You totally should!
Vegan pickup lines are not only funny, but they’re also very different.
Naturally, the only time you should use them is when your match has already stated that they’re a vegan. And you should probably only use them if you’re a vegan, too.
With that in mind, here are some examples that are rife with innuendos:
“Hey, I see that you’re a vegan. I’m a vegan too, but surely you wouldn’t say no to a bit of meat? ;)”
“Fancy stuffing me like a tofurkey?”
“I would love to give a kiss tofu.”
“If you try my zucchini, fancy letting me eat your peach?”
“I know you hate meat but I’ve got some meat you shouldn’t ever feel guilty for eating.”
I won’t lie – all these examples are risque. But if the girl has a sexually charged profile and is clearly looking for some fun, there’s no reason why these clever vegan openers won’t work.
I hope you enjoy reading this blog post.
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What is Tinder? It's a free mobile dating app that matches you with singles in your area. Tinder basically launched the location-based dating app craze back in 2012, and it's still the most popular dating app in the US. For that reason alone, if you're single, Tinder is definitely worth using.
Tinder’s revolutionary (at the time) “swipe right if you like her, swipe left if you don’t” format has since been copied by numerous competitors, and apps like Tinder abound. Bumble, Hinge, and CoffeeMeetsBagel are some examples. Tinder is currently part of the Match Group, which also owns dating sites like Plenty of Fish and Match.com.
If you’re curious about the ins and outs of this popular mobile dating app, here’s everything you need to know about using Tinder for the first time.
The Main Purpose Of Tinder
Swipe, match, and exchange messages with local singles.
It's Evolved Beyond Just A Way To Hook Up
You may have heard it referred to as a “hook up” app. And it was, back when it first hit the market in 2012. Tinder users were mainly singles looking to find more casual relationships.
And while that’s definitely still the case, you can also find plenty of people looking for serious relationships. Even marriage!
Tinder wasn’t designed for any specific age group, although it tends to be most popular with singles in their 20s. In fact, Tinder has said half of its users are Generation Z. That's consistent with reporting from other sources:
That being said, it attracts people of all ages to varying degrees. Tinder is a good app to try if you’re under 50, especially if you’re in a big city. (Dating over 50? Check out Lumen, designed for singles 50 and up!)
You’re also probably wondering how much it costs to be on Tinder. The basic Tinder app is free, with the option to upgrade to Tinder Plus, Tinder Gold and Tinder Platinum. (More about that in a minute, as well as other in-app purchases and premium features.)
Once you’ve downloaded the dating app, you can sign in via your Facebook account or use your mobile number. While you don't need Facebook to use Tinder, it does make creating your account a bit easier. Most of your profile information is auto-populated from your Facebook profile, and it makes uploading your photos a breeze.
Tinder is available for both iOS and Android devices:
You can also use Tinder Online, which is basically Tinder for your pc – or any other device you want to use.
Curious about the ins and outs of this popular mobile dating app? Here’s everything you need to know about using Tinder for the first time.
Create Your Tinder Profile
If you didn't use Facebook to sign up for Tinder, don't worry – the app will prompt you for the required information.
Tinder Photos
Photos are the most important element of your Tinder profile, so you want to choose your strongest ones. You’ll want to use at least 3. Studies have shown that men with at least 3 photos in their profile got more matches than men with only 1.
Researchers recently discovered the recipe for the most attractive Tinder photo:
Getting your photos right the first time is important. Tinder no longer relies on your elo score, which was an internal secret ranking that determined which profiles you were (and weren't) shown. But the number of right swipes you get is still taken into account by the matching algorithm.
In other words, if you want the chance to match with the most popular people on Tinder, your photos need to impress.
Tinder has a built-in Smart Photos feature that can help identify your best primary photo option.
When Smart Photos is enabled, the app automatically auditions every photo in your lineup in the primary spot. It then rotates in whichever one receives the most right swipes.
For more info on how (and if!) Smart Photos actually works, check out this article. Want even more picture tips? Find out how to choose the best photos for Tinder!
Tinder Prompts
(Editor's Note: Tinder has removed this feature in some markets, so it may not be available to you.)
If you don't have the strongest photo lineup, considering adding a few Tinder Prompts to it. You can choose from text prompts like, “Fun fact about me” and “Two truths and a lie:”. Each one has a 144-character limit, and will be shown as a card in your lineup of pics.
Ending on a witty Tinder Prompt could tip the odds in your favor of a match, so it's worth the extra effort. You can have any combination of prompts, photos and Loops (which are 2-second videos that play on repeat). Tinder has space for 9 total.
Tinder Prompts can be added to your lineup from the profile settings screen. Simply tap “Add Media” then “Create a new Prompt.”
Tinder Bio
Once you have your photo lineup addressed, you’ll want to turn your attention to your Tinder bio. You can access and edit all of your profile information at any time by tapping on the icon at the top of the screen.
There’s a section called “About Me” with space for a short, 500-character or less bio.
As a guy on Tinder, you don’t want to leave it blank. With men outnumbering women on Tinder 3 to 1, you don’t want to miss an opportunity to intrigue her. We’ve got 4 irresistible Tinder profile examples you can use for inspiration.
Tinder Passions
Adding a few Tinder Passions can help round out your profile. Passions, also known as Tinder Interests in some markets, are simple topics that will display on your primary photo, and will be highlighted if you have it in common with a potential match:
Tinder requires you to add at least 3 Passions, but no more than 5. Choose which ones by going to the profile editing screen and tapping on the Passions menu. Then tap on the interests you want to add to your profile:
Adding a few Interests to your Tinder profile is a sure-fire way to make starting a conversation with you a lot easier. And you can use this handy copy and paste messaging hack to quickly send an icebreaker to matches who are interested in the same thing you are!
Linking Social Media
You can also link your Spotify and Instagram account to your Tinder profile.
Social media is a great way to give potential matches more hints of your personality, but keep in mind once connected you should view them as an extension of your dating profile.
Once your basic profile is completed, you can set your search criteria. Tinder has minimal filtering options, just maximum distance, gender, and age range.
How Tinder Works
Now it’s time for the fun part – swiping.
Tap on the flame icon to swipe through the singles in your local area. If you're not a premium member, you'll check out each person's profile one at a time. You can use your finger to swipe the image left if you’re not interested, right if you are.
Swiping up “Super Likes” someone.
Basic users get 100 swipes every 12 hours. If you don’t want to physically swipe with your finger, you can tap the Tinder icons at the bottom of the screen instead.
This shows what all the Tinder icons mean:
When you swipe right (“like”) someone’s profile, and they do the same for your profile, a match is formed.
I’ve Got A Match, Now What?
Once you’ve made a match, either of you can start the Tinder conversation. To access the message screen, tap on the conversation icon at the top of the screen.
Attractive women on Tinder get tons of messages, so your icebreaker needs to be attention grabbing to stand out from the competition.
Don’t just send a basic “Hey.” That puts the pressure on her to actually start the conversation, and worse – it will make her think you’re boring, uncreative, and nothing special.
Instead, send her a question that’s creative, engaging, and above all easy to answer. Try one of our 7 Tinder icebreakers that actually work right now!
Tinder Reactions
Only women can send “Reactions” in response to a message. So if you send her a less than stellar icebreaker, be prepared to get an animated eye roll or a virtual drink thrown in your face.
Tinder Reactions can be positive as well, including a round of applause and a thumbs up. To send a Reaction, simply click on the smiley emoji next to the message field. Then choose which one you’d like to use.
Tinder Feed
You can also message your matches via Tinder Feed, which is where all their latest activity on the app is posted.
For instance, if someone changes their primary photo or chooses a new Spotify anthem, you can comment on it. simply tap the conversation box on the relevant piece of content, and type your message!
To learn more about how Tinder Feed works – and how to use it to get more matches – go here.
Tinder Face To Face
Tinder also allows users to video chat within the app after they've started a message exchange, provided they've both expressed interest by activating the Face To Face feature. To indicate that you'd like to video chat with a match, simply tap the video icon and toggle it on.
When your match does the same, you can initiate the video call.
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Is Tinder Plus Worth It?
Upgrading to Tinder Plus costs around $9.99/month if you’re under 30, $19.99/month if you’re 31+. If you commit to 6 months or a year, the monthly cost is slightly less.
Here’s what you get for your money:
- 5 Super Likes a day
- Ability to rewind your last swipe
- Ad-free swiping
- Change your location to anywhere in the world with the Passport feature
- Unlimited right swipes
- Limit the information that’s visible to others
- Have your profile shown only to people you’ve “liked”
- One free Tinder Boost every month
Super Likes and Boosts are also available as per-use in-app purchases, so you can use them as a free member as well.
If you travel frequently, upgrading is worth the price just for the ability to change your location. Start swiping through the local girls in your destination city, and you can have dates lined up before you’ve even stepped off the plane.
Since 76% of Tinder users live in larger urban areas, if you’re not within “dating distance” of a city center, upgrading probably isn’t worth the extra cost.
But if you do live in a larger city, you’ll burn through your 100 swipes with a quickness, so upgrading can save you the frustration of having to wait 12 hours to get some more.
Tinder Plus is also worth it if you’re concerned about just anyone finding you on Tinder. By upgrading, you have the ability to hide your Tinder profile from other users, and only have it revealed to people once you’ve swiped right on them.
Want more dating app privacy tips? Check out which dating apps and sites have private profile options so you can use them discreetly!
Should I Upgrade To Tinder Gold?
With Tinder Gold, you get all the Tinder Plus perks, and these two additional premium features:
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- A grid view of all the local singles who have “liked” your profile already – so swiping right = instant match
- 4-10 Top Picks delivered daily (free users only get 1)
Top Picks are profiles of singles whom Tinder’s algorithm has identified as people who match your dating preferences as identified by your swiping patterns, so you’re virtually guaranteed to like them.
To read more about how Tinder Picks work, go here.
How much Tinder Gold costs varies by factors like your age and location, but you’ll pay somewhere in this general vicinity:
If you tend to get a lot of matches or don't want to spend a lot of time swiping, Tinder Gold can be helpful. Not only can you focus on swiping through profiles of singles who are already intrigued enough to swipe right, you can instantly match with all of them.
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Is Tinder Platinum Worth The Cost?
Tinder’s premier upgrade, Tinder Platinum, comes with two extra features: Priority Likes and Message Before Matching. You’ll also get *all* the upgrades from the other two levels as well.
Priority Likes means anytime you swipe right on someone, your profile gets priority placement in their card stack. Message Before Matching allows you to include a comment when you Super Like a potential match, something Tinder claims ups your odds of matching by 25%.
For anyone swiping in a big city with tons of Tinder users, paying for Tinder Platinum is probably worth the competitive advantage. Being seen sooner rather than later is always a good thing on Tinder.
Pricing is still being tested in different markets, but you can generally expect to spend about $5-10 more than a Gold subscription.
How Do I Get The Most Out Of Tinder?
Regardless of what you are looking for on Tinder, it’s important to know how to use the app if you want to get any dates at all.
It’s definitely worth taking a look at our fool-proof Tinder hacks as well as these 10 Tinder tips, but here are the basics:
- Tinder is literally all about first impressions. Your photos and profile need to stand out.
- Make the first move when it comes to sending messages – research shows only 7% of guys send the first message, so impress her by taking charge of the conversation.
- Build up your Facebook “Likes.” Tinder displays which FB pages you and your match have in common, and having mutual interests could cause more women to swipe right on your profile.
- Don’t wait too long to ask her out – your goal is to take things off the app as soon as possible. Always suggest meeting for the first time in a public place – that’s what 75% of women prefer.
While Tinder is a great way to meet attractive women, you’ll find that all that swiping and messaging can start eating up a huge chunk of your free time.
On average, users log on 11 times a day, and spend around 90 minutes a day on the app. That’s about 10.5 hours a week, 42 hours a month. Bet you didn’t realize a free app could turn into a part-time job!
But setting up and using Tinder doesn’t have to be stressful or time-consuming. Lots of busy people hire someone to Tinder for them. There’s plenty of reasons why outsourcing Tinder makes sense, but the most important one is simple – it’s the quickest way to go on dates with attractive women. Intrigued?
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